A little of the crazy

Well, its another day. I have Lily again over night. Luckily right now, Mia is asleep lol
But I just thought I would explain a little about my disorder.
I have bipolar type one. I take medication for it. I have manic states, highs and lows. Every day is a new battle. With myself and my emotions. Now, doing all this with 3+ kids in the house can sometimes be challenging. But since I have been doing this since Iwas 19 I think I have mastered the art of child care.. not going to lie and say that I never want to pull my hair out because that is far from the truth. I have just learned how to manage my angry with the children in new ways. Like pepsi.. that calms me down for some reason. Im not sure why. I use to smoke ciggarettes but I quite that nasty ass habit. I only smoke when I drink which is like once or twice a month.. thats only if I am working the event for the goth club.
But anywho. lol
Back on subject. I take a very strong mood stabilizer call Lamictal. I take a low does but it is soon to go up in doesage because you body will get use to it and them have to go up.. just the way it works sadly. But, It did not complicate my pregnancies. I however had to under alot of testing being on such medication. And I had to be watched for post partum depression. It is always a hard time having a new baby (no matter how many you have already). And being bipolar just makes it harder. What helps me is I have a routine. It is also good for the kids.
I grew up in the home of a hoarder. My mother and I lived in a small trailer, with to many animals, and trash. We also had uninvited guests called roaches. So I had developed OCD from that.
I was born bipolar. That is something thatI can never change or get rid of. But the OCD I am learning to cope with. I keep a very very tidy house. May not be spotless but I have 3+ kids here everyday. So I do my best. But When it is lunch time I clean up the living room. Then they go play in the play room and I clean up lunch, unload and then load the dish washer and washer dryer. I then cook dinner, once everyone is bathed and in bed, I begin the cleaning. I mop and sweep, do dishes, fold clothes.. So in the morning it is all clean. I have been unemployed in working outside of my house for so long Im not sure if I could g back to it. It has been 3 years since I have had a job away from my house. Some days I wonder if I am getting to the point I don't want to leave my house.
I don't have a working car right now, only my husband does. I leave the house maybe once a week. And I complain about it until I leave, and then I just want to be home.
I got off subject again.. I so that. Hard to focious on one thing in my head. lol
Thanks for reading.. I hope you keep it up. :)