The beginning of it all..

Hello,
My name is Toni. I guess I should start where it all began.
I grew up in a tiny town in OK. I loved it, everyine knew everyone. All the kids grew up together, and even today we are all still in contact with eachother. I have two best friends who I am in contact with most everyday from home. When I was young I started doing terrible things with my life. I ran all my relationships into the ground with friends, family, boys,ect. There was this thing that was the love of my life, crystal meth. I just couldnt get it off my mind at all. There were so many other things I could have done with my time, I was in band, or in Girl Scouts, I played sports. But I was just trapped in this hole I dug for myself. I couldnt find a way to get out of it or away from it.
Then one day I met a boy. His name was A. He told me one day, "I know what your doing and I don't like it. If you don't stop I wont give you the time of the day.". So of course I did.. Not long after I found out I was pregnant. My whole world changed. My mother and I fought and she kicked me out. I moved around alot with A. I was 3 months pregnant, and I started spotting at work. I was rushed to the E.R. But they found the baby and said everything was fine. I saw my OB at my next visit and she want me to have surgery that day, an abortion. I told her no. If I didn't want my baby I would have done that at the start not now. So I wa 28 weeks and I went to Detroit to visit A's mother for chirstmas. I woke up the next day December 20th 2006 and bleed so much it went through the mattress. I was rushed to the E.R. yet again.. They put me to sleep and I was taken into surgery. The baby had passed away already. My placenta had detached and I was bleeding to death. I was only 16 years old and just had a little girl who had died inside me. I was torn apart. I felt like my heart had died with her. Her name was Aroura Storm C. She was my angel baby. I wasnt able to contact my mother and she went to the police station back home in OK. They filed it as a run away. I was arrested on the 29th of December. I went to a detention center in the area. I was sent home on a plane a week later. A and I slpit up in 2008. We just could not work together. I think he fell out of love with me after that happened. We tried so hard but it just stopped working. After a long time, I moved back in with my mother. In May of 2008 she told me that she was moving to Illinois and if I didn't come with I was going to be homeless. So I moved with her. I met a few people and partied way to hard. I met a boy.. His name was Shannon. He swept me off my feet. We moved in together and drank every night and made bad decisions. Then one day I went to walgreens and got a home pregnancy test. It came up positive. My heart sank. I thought that I was going to die. I couldn't live through that again. When I was 14 I was told I would had a hard time getting pregnant, and if I did, I would be able to carry to term.
I had a complicated relationship with Shannon. He was an abusive drunk. I thought having a child could change him, like it did to me. I didnt want to be around the type of people he hung out with. I wanted the best for my daughter. He could careless. He wanted me to give her up to his drugy mother. But I kept my baby girl, and left him the instand I had a chance. Her name is Madison and she was born April 19 2009. I was 19 years old.
When it was just me and her it was awesome. We lived in assited housing, and I was having a hard time finding a job and providing what I wanted for her. A friend of mine and I decided to move to OK. He wanted to go somewhere new and I wanted to go home. I moved in with my best friend Samantha.
Rob and I started dating, and my birth control failed for the 3rd time. I only made it to 28 weeks with Aroura, and 37weeks with Madison.. How in the world could I make it with this pregnancy. I just started going back to school. Madison was only 6 months old. Nothing was going right. But I knew I was going to do right by my children. I didn't want to turn into my mother, who checked out of life when I was just 12 years old, and my father moved away with my brother.
So things were going .. okay.. and I had an ultrsound to find out the sex of the baby. Another Girl! I was so happy, and she was doing wonderful, growing just fine. Rob decided that we had to move back to IL. That the work there was better. I didn't want to break up what we had going, which looking back wasn't very much at all. So I went with him. We had no place to go, so I stayed with my grandmother and he stayed with his father in another town. This all happened in about a week. He broke up with me a few days later and didn't talk to me after that. He didn't want the baby. Afew months went by and it has been about a year since I hear from Shannon. So I send him an email for some unknown reason. Now I wish I never did that. He came to the hospital and signed Maci-Jo's birth certf. She was born July 1st 2010 at 38 weeks. We tried dating long distance again after that but I found out while I was pregnant with Maci he had gotten a girl pregnant and lied to me about it. All of the children are now close and know eachother. I am good friends with her mother. But we split up because once again I cannot trust a word he says. A long time passed, I started to have friends and a social life once again. My grandmother was very supportive. I enjoyed being a single mother of 2. Even though the men were never involved. I was out one night with my best friend Sara, and I was re-introduced to a man named Joshua. He was handsome and smart. We got eachothers numbers and started txting all night. It wasn't long before we were dating. He needed another roommate, one of his had moved out. So I moved in, we were engaged pretty quickly. We got married June 21st 2011. We are soon going to celebrate being married for 2 years, and being together for 3. Madison and Maci know him as father. One day in March 2011 I was in a lot of pain. I went to the E.R. and they said I had a uti and sent me home. The next morning I got up to go to the bathroom, and I passed out and fell off the toilet onto the tile floor. I had a seizure, and Joshua called 911. I was ruhed into the E.R. again. It took them over 8 hours to find out what was wrong with me. I had a cyst on my ovary, and it had burst. I lost 2 liters of blood by the time I was taken into surgery. I stopped breathing during surgery. But they were able to save me and my ovary. I no longer ovulate from the left side.
In Early 2012 we decide to try and have a baby. It took 4 months to get pregnant. I was happy and scared. Miabella was born after months of bedrest and testing every week, on December 31st 2012. she was full term, 39 weeks and 5 days. :) I was 22 years old.
So Now, Joshua and I live in our own little house with all of our girls.
We are currently about to start the fight of our lives. We are in court for child support, and made the decision to force Shanon's parental rights so Joshua can adopt Madison and Maci-Jo.
I am sure I left a few things out, but This is it, the story of my life in a nut shell. There are thing in between and such but you get the jist. :P
Thank you for reading I hope you keep it up.